Saturday, July 11, 2009

I die laughing

I've been ego surfing a lot lately. Ego surfing is when you key in your name or website in Google or any other search engine and find out the results. Try it; the results can be quite interesting. Anyway, I discovered a site which was posting rewrites of my book reviews. The rewritten text is funny as hell.

Here's a sample taken from my review of Netherland.
Original:
It's a beautiful book about Hans van der Broek, a financial analyst from London who gets transported to New York with his lawyer wife and his son. The van der Broeks were in NYC when 9/11 happened. It is this event that causes a strain in Hans's relationship with his wife Rachel. When Rachel decides to return to London, Hans is left alone in the hotel where they were temporarily relocated after 9/11. It is during this time that he meets Chuck Ramkissoon, a Trinidad-born immigrant/gangster/philosopher who exposes Hans to a less-explored side of the immigrant experience. Hans and Chuck meet at a cricket match, one where Chuck served as the umpire and mediated between two arguing players. They become inseparable after that. Eventually, Chuck uses Hans as an unofficial escort in his betting operation among other immigrants.
And here's the brilliant rewrite:
Rewrite:
It’s a smashing hard-cover thither Hans van der Broek, a pecuniary analyst from London who gets transported to New York with his shyster trouble and his son. The van der Broeks were in NYC when 9/11 happened. It is this circumstance that causes a winnow in Hans’s relationship with his trouble Rachel. It is during this immediately that he meets Chuck Ramkissoon, a Trinidad-born immigrant/gangster/philosopher who exposes Hans to a less-explored side of the beginner dress. When Rachel decides to give back to London, Hans is bountiful unescorted in the New Zealand tavern where they were for the moment relocated after 9/11. Hans and Chuck deal with at a cricket event, entire where Chuck served as the ump and mediated between two arguing players.
I laughed my ass off reading that one. But wait, there's more. Here's the first part of my entry about Michael Crichton:
Writers rise from the dead, too
I'm not talking about writers reappearing as zombies, elegantly dressed vampires, or divine apparitions. I'm talking about their works. It appears that Michael Crichton, the author known for incorporating cutting-edge technology in his fictional works, has kept manuscripts of two novels (one of them unfinished) when he died at age 66. Unless there's a vault of unfinished manuscripts hidden in Crichton's estate, this will be the last time Crichton fans will get their fix.
Here's the very, very amusing rewrite (check out the title, it's priceless):
Writers board flight from the expired, too
I’m not talking hither writers reappearing as zombies, elegantly dressed vampires, or celestial apparitions. I’m talking hither their works. It appears that Michael Crichton, the originator known after incorporating cutting-edge technology in his storied works, has kept manuscripts of two novels (one of them unfinished) when he died at in good time 66. Unless there’s a vault of unfinished manuscripts masked in Crichton’s above-board, this require be the newest in good time Crichton fans require butter up a enquire manifest their mesmerize.
Should I be bothered by all these? I don't even have any strong feelings about them. This doesn't even compare to the incident last week when we discovered a site who's been stealing feeds. Now that is really low.

If there's one thing that I don't like about these rehashed articles is that they make me gassy from all the laughing.

4 comments:

Patrick said...

How did you find those? Hm.. did you just google random phrases from your articles? I'm curious how you did these because I've been blogging for a very, very long time now and I'm more worried now that you posted this.

Did you contact the sites who posted your rehashed articles?

Peter S. said...

Hello, Patrick! Just google your site and check out the hits.

line of flight said...

the auto re-write blogs are the best

rise said...

Now who would do that? They must have a thesaurus machine that converts every 'about' into 'hither' and every 'wife' into 'trouble'? *laughs*