Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Books people assume I've read

Funny that, when people learn that I read a lot, they would assume that I've read the books they love. Some of these books are "classics." And while I've no idea what this word actually means, I do know that these are great books and their probably "life changing" and all; it's just that I haven't read them.

One time, I was with a friend who talked about how The Alchemist changed his life perspective. (Just hearing the words "Coelho" and "life perspective" is enough to make me cringe.) I just sipped my latte and watched eye candy stroll by. I do remember having to stop myself from constantly adding, "I'm sorry, what?" every time he asked for my opinion. Thank goodness I can appear to be listening intently just by nodding my head. The technique is not to nod at a regular pace -- slow, knowing head movements interspersed with rapid jerks work best.

Of course, you might think that I could've avoided that situation if I just told my friend that I haven't read The Alchemist at all. Still, I do love a challenge, and I wouldn't give up the opportunity to admire beautiful people while I get my caffeine fix for free.

Here's a list of books that people think I've read but haven't.
  1. Catcher in the Rye
  2. The Lord of the Rings
  3. Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo (Thank heavens for cheat notes!)
  4. Any book by William Faulkner
  5. Any book by Mark Twain
  6. The Origin of Species
  7. Books 2 onwards of Tales from the City
  8. The Bible
  9. Nancy Drew
  10. The R.L. Stine novels
How about you, dear reader? Are there books that people automatically assume that you've read but haven't?


Portobello's coffee said...

you forgot "The Purpose Driven Life"

line of flight said...

I didn't realize William Faulkner wrote books, just long sentences. you really ought to read Fili, its the Philippines first gay novel but no cheat notes will tell you that!

Peter Michael C. Sandico said...

@Portobello's coffee: Oh yes! I actually have 3 copies. Sadly, I couldn't give it away since they all have personal messages written at the first page.

@line of flight: Hmmmm...

line of flight said...

spoken like a true book hoarder!

I Heart Monster said...

Oh gosh there are so many...

I made it through AP English in high school (and passed my AP exam too for credit!) on just Cliffs Notes - I never actually read a book in high school.

The one that gets me into the most trouble though is The Scarlet Letter. I couldn't even listen to that audio book for that, but I know all about the themes and whatnots...

That and anything Shakespeare... I never had the privilege of reading him in school, not even cliffs notes!

mitch ramirez said...

I laughed at #3. Madaya!