- the Jane Austen Book Club and the Spawn of Satan Bikers Society.
- an impossibly good-looking vampire who sparkles in the sun or a magnificently rippled werewolf who would fall for a clumsy, ordinary-looking girl.
- making nice with Ann Coulter.
- a handsome symbologist from Harvard who can dazzle you with his intelligence. (If this person did exist, trust me, I would know.)
- someone who got all the allusions in Ulysses, Finnegan's Wake, or Lolita correctly.
- a country that would let you in if the name on your passport is spelled as e.e. cummings.
- a Booker shortlist without a historical novel.
- someone who went through all the Gossip Girl novels (14 and counting) and have felt satisfaction.
- a novel about Provence without a recipe, a novel about Ireland without alcohol, and a novel set in Hollywood without sex and drugs.
- having too many books.
And Then There Were None - 1945
45 minutes ago