Tuesday, September 29, 2009

There's no such thing as...

  1. the Jane Austen Book Club and the Spawn of Satan Bikers Society.
  2. an impossibly good-looking vampire who sparkles in the sun or a magnificently rippled werewolf who would fall for a clumsy, ordinary-looking girl.
  3. making nice with Ann Coulter.
  4. a handsome symbologist from Harvard who can dazzle you with his intelligence. (If this person did exist, trust me, I would know.)
  5. someone who got all the allusions in Ulysses, Finnegan's Wake, or Lolita correctly.
  6. a country that would let you in if the name on your passport is spelled as e.e. cummings.
  7. a Booker shortlist without a historical novel.
  8. someone who went through all the Gossip Girl novels (14 and counting) and have felt satisfaction.
  9. a novel about Provence without a recipe, a novel about Ireland without alcohol, and a novel set in Hollywood without sex and drugs.
  10. having too many books.
Is there something that I have missed, dear reader?


Anonymous said...

How about... there's no such thing as ube flavor? Ube doesn't have a taste, it's just a color.:)

Nice list, Peter. Much funnnn.

Atma Satya said...

...a Nicholas Sparks novel without a character's dramatic death.

...vibrant, page-turning classic Russian novel. (Nabokov's Lolita doesn't make the cut, at least for me.)

...a secondhand bookstore in the Philippines that doesn't have a copy of All Things Bright and Beautiful by James Herriot


~ jex

Tina said...

Ok, for banned books week...

there's no such thing as a book so bad it has to be burned...

i'll give you hidden from certain people but burned..NOT

Ceri said...

Hehe, love that list, Peter. I especially loved "making nice with Ann Coulter." Just what I needed to cheer me up today. :-D

Amanda said...

I have to admit - I'm actually part of a Jane Austen book club. Crazy, eh?

rise said...

- a fourth book in a trilogy
- a long shortlist
- a posthumous book by a living author
- a Hercule Poirot without a stiff body
- a metaphor like a simile
- a feel-good William Faulkner novel
- an epilogue in the beginning

Charlie said...

--books written by dead people like V.C. Andrews

A great list, Peter, and so is the one by rise.

Lula O said...

Ah, man I was going to say the fourth book in a trilogy!

And don't forget vampire impregnates clumsy teenage girl. Like that's possible. Of course I guess vampires aren't really real either.
Hmm.. oh well.

Ryan G said...

Can we pretend about about the gorgeous vampire and ripped werewolf?

I would also like to add:

Glenn Beck ever making sense.

a short sleeve dress shirt.

Book Bird Dog said...

This is off topic, but I guess we don't have to worry about you in Manila. How are things coming along there with the flooding?

Peter S. said...

LOL at all your comments.

@Book Bird Dog: Thank you for asking. We're coping with all the devastation. I haven't experienced flooding like this in memory.

Staci said...

Loved reading your list!

Anonymous said...

Peter, sana ok lang kayo diyan.
Here in Cebu, different efforts have been initiated to raise money and donations to be shipped to Manila for the victims. We're all praying for you. :)

Anonymous said...

...and there's no such thing as a book giveaway contest without re-tweeting or re-posting about it on one's own blog... ^_^

Peter said...

@Staci: Thanks for dropping by again!

@pachuvachuva: Thanks so much for your concern. The past few days have been really challenging. Thankfully, my family wasn't that significantly affected by the typhoon. But it's so heartbreaking to see the devastation on TV. All of us here know of at least one person who has been seriously affected by the typhoon, and we just wish that this never happens again soon.

Cynewyn said...

Just to add my thoughts and prayers for you and everyone in your corner of the world - God bless.

Anonymous said...

Good to know you're alright, Peter, after that horrible deluge. Knew you were though 'cause you've been updating your blog.

Had fun with your list again. Especially funny -- nos. 4, 8,& 9.

Peter said...

@Cynewyn: Thank you for your prayers. We really need them.

@Jo: Thanks!

gege said...

my former chat name was a.m. cumming. you can imagine how often i was asked my asl.

Peter S. said...

Hahaha! You crack me up, Gege!