Tuesday, June 23, 2009

You know you're in hell when...

  1. You're stuck in a traffic jam with no book to read.
  2. You're almost through reading a used book and then find out that the last few pages are missing.
  3. You're trapped in a library and it's absolutely pitch dark. Or, you're trapped in a library and you forget your reading glasses.
  4. The only bookstore in town closes shop and is replaced by The Gap.
  5. Ann Coulter starts a book club.
  6. People burn books during happy hour.
  7. Your favorite author is hanging out with Paris Hilton.
  8. Your favorite author is Paris Hilton.
  9. All your books now start with this sentence: "It was a dark and stormy night."
  10. Your books can suddenly talk and they hate you.
How about you, dear reader? Are there any similar scenarios that you can think of?


line of flight said...

where is the world is the Harry Potter book burning event?

Peter said...

Hi Lance! It's in New Mexico. Check out the link (in the picture's caption). Makes you wonder why there's still things like these going on in the 21st century.

Patrick said...

Wow! I hear about the book burnings of Harry Potter but it's the first time I've actually seen a picture of it.

Funny list by the way. I LOL'd at #7 and 8. :P

Anonymous said...

LOL! My hell, too! Number 11 could read: You've seriously invested in reading a series, when the author dies before writing the last book! :(

Anonymous said...

Or : You're up to your balls in a series, and the author chooses to have an indefinite writer's block in the middle of it! (i.e. George R.R. Martin with "A Song of Ice and Fire") GRRRRRR!!!!

Perry said...

I'm shocked, I mean really shocked, that no one has tried to burn my book HERO, the epic coming of age story of the world's first gay male teen superhero.

They burn books about wizard schools? I mean, I grew up in the south going to church. I couldn't be more surprised!

Perry Moore
author of HERO

kdraydaniel said...

You know your in hell when...
1. You're reading Chp. 3 of The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (seriously--do it!)
2. The only book you have for eternity is Ulysses!
3. All that is on your book shelf is "self help" books
4. You are stuck in a dream where all the books in the library are biographies by Teri Hatcher, Paris Hilton, Tammy Faye Baker and The kids from Different Strokes