Catching up

And so work has finally ended for the year and I'm off to do some serious shopping and, finally, reading. First, the shopping. I spent two hours last night just finalizing my list and allocating how much I would be spending on each person's gift. The gift budget is a bit easy to do; since I know what to get each person on my list, I just had to plug in an amount that I'm willing to spend for him or her. I realized that I've been spending too much on gifts during this season, so I just hope that I stick to my budget.

I never knew that there were so many hidden costs to gift budget. You have to buy ribbons, wrapping paper, gift tags, etc. Plus, I thought that I never meet them just to give my gifts, right? We usually exchange gifts over dinner or coffee. So I had to factor in those expenses as well. My, oh my...

Next, I plan to catch up on my reading. I've bought several novels lately, and I do plan to read some of them before the year ends. Hopefully, the two weeks will let me finish 5 books at the most, which will barely make a dent on my TBR pile. Interestingly, I noticed that I've developed a taste for Gothic novels lately. I'm currently reading Daphne du Maurier's Jamaica Inn and Diane Setterfield's The Thirteenth Tale. I think that, for some reason, I find the eerie atmosphere of Gothic novels more suited to the Christmas season. Weird...

Unfriend

The New Oxford American Dictionary has picked its word of the year, and that word is "unfriend." When asked as to the criteria for choosing that ghastly word, it cited that "unfriend" is very current and has the potential for longevity. I just cringe reading about this piece of news.

I'm not a language purist and I love how dynamic English is, but celebrating a grammatically incorrect usage of a particular word does not bode well for the next generation. I'm not comfortable with using the word "friend" as a verb, much less its negative. Surely we can think of other quirky words that appear frequently this year which are used correctly.

How long before "unfriend" finds its way into fiction and (gasp!) our textbooks? Would our children and children's children ever learn that the true context of the word does not necessarily involve social networking sites? Argh...

How about you, dear reader? Are you peeved about this word? Or is some other word bugging you? Let me know. Perhaps we can "friend" each other in Facebook.

Re-gift

Image source

My favorite season is just around the corner. I'm not talking about Halloween, since I've never been big on dressing up. I'm referring to Christmas. I just love the gift giving, the eating like there's no tomorrow, the happiness all around, the crisp cold air. What's not to love?

Here in the Philippines, we have a habit of giving gifts early. So, there's plenty of time for, umm, re-gifting. I know that the concept may sound crass and unbecoming. But who needs all those scented candles and potpourri, fruit cakes (see story below), cute figurines (I call them "dust gatherers".), keychains, etc. I just think that, since I'm not going to need them and I certainly need to save money during these tough times, the next best thing is to recycle them.

Dear reader, you've probably re-gifted at one point in your life. And, I think that some of the gifts you've sent have been re-gifted as well. It's not a bad thing though. (We just don't have enough keys to use all those keychains.)

When you're a bibliophile and you've lots of friends who are book lovers as well, re-gifting books and book-related items can be quite tricky. Unless you're filthy rich, you probably can afford to give books or, even better, Amazon gift checks to all your friends. (I usually hate filthy rich people, but they become my best friends during Christmas.)

I can't bear the thought of regifting books unless they're of the self-help variety. No Coehlos, Chopras, Carnegies, et al will ever get near my shelf. And, in the few instances that I give books as gifts, I can't imagine them being re-gifted. So, here's what I do:

• Inscribe the books with a very personal note such as "Let's talk about this book soon, Alex! Bring it with you next month at Starbucks." Or, "I can't wait to see this book on your shelf when I come over to surprise you one of these days, Martha!"

• Write innocuous notes on random pages of the book. Granted that this wouldn't prevent the person you gave it too from re-gifting. But, if the receiver does re-gift, the look on his or her face would be priceless once you ask if he or she has read the personal notes you wrote on page 37, 203, and 412 of the same book.

• Tell them that you'll be calling them frequently to ask how they're liking the book. This would be better if you have the same book. This way, you can easily ask them about their thoughts regarding specific pages.

The Fruit Cake Myth

There's actually only one fruit cake in the world. Come Christmas time, this fruit cake gets passed around to different people. Since the fruit cake is made of tons of sugar and alcohol, it's virtually indestructible, allowing it to survive one Christmas season to the next. I don't this is true though. I love fruit cake. Or, as an alternative to the myth, all the fruit cakes in the world get passed around and eventually end up in my tummy.

There's no such thing as...

1. the Jane Austen Book Club and the Spawn of Satan Bikers Society.
2. an impossibly good-looking vampire who sparkles in the sun or a magnificently rippled werewolf who would fall for a clumsy, ordinary-looking girl.
3. making nice with Ann Coulter.
4. a handsome symbologist from Harvard who can dazzle you with his intelligence. (If this person did exist, trust me, I would know.)
5. someone who got all the allusions in Ulysses, Finnegan's Wake, or Lolita correctly.
6. a country that would let you in if the name on your passport is spelled as e.e. cummings.
7. a Booker shortlist without a historical novel.
8. someone who went through all the Gossip Girl novels (14 and counting) and have felt satisfaction.
9. a novel about Provence without a recipe, a novel about Ireland without alcohol, and a novel set in Hollywood without sex and drugs.
10. having too many books.

Is there something that I have missed, dear reader?

What not to do during a book discussion (2)

The book club that I'm a member of, Flips Flipping Pages, will again be having its monthly book discussion. They'll be talking about Patrick Suskind's novel, Perfume, a book that reeks of brilliance (pun intended). Unfortunately, I'm swamped with tons of work so I can't join them.

Previously, I made a list of things one shouldn't do during a book discussion. Check the post here, and don't forget to read the hilarious comments, too. I figured I might as well add on to the list. So here goes:

1. Bring a bottle of vodka, and take a swig every time someone says, "In my opinion, the book... " (You'll get pretty much wasted in no time.)
2. Say that you've read Perfume in its original language -- Italian!
3. Bring a camera and take pictures of the participants in their unguarded moments (e.g., sleeping, picking their noses, yawning).
4. Post these pictures in Facebook and tag all your friends.
5. Play footsie with the resident hottie.
6. Arrive only when they're eating.
7. Tell everyone that you didn't read the book. Say, "After finishing Ulysses and War and Peace, having to read Perfume just feels insulting."
8. Point out that you've been diagnosed with A(H1N1) just this morning.
9. Volunteer to take the minutes, then pretend that you're actually taking them down.
10. Fart.

Any other ideas, dear reader?

What not to do during a book discussion

This Saturday, I'll be again attending a book discussion for the Flips Flipping Pages Book Club. The book club meets every month, and for this month, the theme is health and fitness. So, we're going to talk about books that go hand in hand with the theme.

The members of FFP are a fun-loving lot. They kid around, throw jokes at one another, and even make a few self-deprecating remarks every now and then. But when it came to the book discussion, when each member was talking about his or her favorite Seuss book, everyone became serious.

Since this would be my second time to join them, I've come up with a few things that one should NOT do during a book discussion. (I have been known to do some of these things though.)

1. Yawn loudly while someone is saying a sad anecdote.
2. Say, "I read that. You got it completely wrong."
3. Fart.
4. Interrupt the discussion by asking, "When do we eat?"
5. Sleep.
6. Arrive ridiculously late. Help yourself to the swag. Then leave.
7. Fart some more.
8. Trim nails. If time permits, buff them.
9. Pick nose. Then fart.
10. Take out iPod and listen to the Jonas Brothers.
11. Say that Twilight beats Harry Potter in all aspects.
12. Mention that you haven't read any of the books because you're finishing, umm, Ulyssees.
13. Point out that you only read self-help books.
14. Flirt with the resident hot chick or dude (or both).
15. Tell members to suck it and just go see the movie.

More pictures

Zhang Zi-Yi takes the train!
From Found Shit

Art from books
From Books Are People Too

The facade of a library in Kansas City, Missouri
From Blatant Bibliophiles

The book tower in Berlin
From Germany Tourism

A bookshelf for all your vampire books
From Make: Technology on Your Time

Out for blood

This marketing campaign is pure genius. In line with the publication of the official Dracula sequel, Dracula: The Un-Dead. by Penguin, the publisher is organizing Dracula-themed blood drives in select Canadian cities. We finally get something good from all the vampire trend going on. (Why didn't the publishers and fans of Twilight think of this first? Oh right, Edward and his family are "vegetarians.")

Have you read Dracula, dear reader? The first time I read it when I was 15, I was scared out of my pants. Even though it came out in 1897, it's still scary even to this day. Dracula is one of the best epistolary novels I've read. The letters the characters wrote to one another and their journal entries give them a unique voice.

This dish, which we locals call dinuguan, is one of my favorite.
For non-Filipino readers, it's a stew made of pig's blood, pork, and other variety meats.
Image from Ramen Days

Old, underdressed, and confused

The title of this entry describes exactly what I felt when I went to the Comic Con last weekend in Megamall, a popular mall here in Manila where trade shows are usually set up. We didn't really plan to go, but I was with my good friend R., who's big on comics, umm sorry, graphic novels and who graciously paid the entrance fee (which I think is way overpriced).

The first thing I noticed that I was probably the oldest person in the convention. Everywhere I look, I see teens and tweens in costumes and eagerly checking out the merchandise. I checked out the merchandise myself, and I can barely identify the names of these action figures. There were certainly good deals on the toys though. R. bought a 6-inch X-Men action figure for 200 pesos (about $4).

There was also a panel talking about the comic book industry in the Philippines. Judging by the look of their audience, no one was really paying that much attention to them. The comic book industry in the Philippines is practically nonexistent. Writers and illustrators barely make a living from these comic books. They often have to resort to self-publishing their works. Most of the time, these self-published comic books just look photocopied.

Here are some of the pics my friend took during the Comic Con. (Thanks again, R!)

Merchandise, weird stuff, etc.

Why the wigs? These are actually used for the costumes.

The costumed young people

Shameless self-promotion

This guy doesn't know what he actually is.

Before going to the Comic Con, I finally found a copy of The Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite. I seldom buy graphic novels, but I've been hearing a lot of good reviews about this work by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba. Yes, that's correct: the Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance. Hopefully, I'll be able to write a review about it soon.

Pictures, pictures, pictures

From The New Yorker
Oh my goodness! A high tide of books!

From the Creative Review
A typographical map of Paris done by Mark Webber. Every street name has been carved in reverse. The map, which took 8 months to complete, measures 1.8 meters across.

From Oddee
Apparently, Mr. Mayor should also learn English.

From Make It and Take It
For the ladies, an HP tote bag you can use to carry your HP books!

From Art Meets Matter
This is just perfect for those lazy afternoons spent reading.

This goes to the top of my wish list

It rubs the lotion on its skin,
or else it gets the hose again.

I've just learned from this site that there are actual books bound using human skin. Now that is something I'd like to get my hands on. The book, titled Aurora Alegre del dichoso dia de la Gracia Maria Santissima Digna Madre de Dios, is being sold for $16,000.

Certain questions pop into my head if I do get this book. Do I put it at my beside table? How does it smell? Can I actually moisturize it? What part of the human skin did the bookmaker use?

How about you, dear reader? Would you like this on your shelf?

Yet another way to combat reader's block

Image from crunchgear.com

Last week I was in a reading rut. I can't seem to finish any book I lay my hands on. I guess it was one of those moments that I had reader's block. It's a good thing though that I've discovered a great way to combat it. And it's by reading, ehem, spam.

Yes, you've read it correctly. Read spam to get out of reader's block. Here's why. Spam can be quite amusing and hilarious when you take the time to digest what they're saying. Just by reading a few of them, I learned that I won like $100 million dollars in the lottery, that my email has reached a person dying of cancer, and that this blog has received the "Nobel Prize" of blogs.

Okay, for the record, I've never bought a lottery ticket (although I've been dying to). I also don't correspond to people with cancer via email. Heck, if they have cancer, I'll give them a call or talk to them in person. And WTF is this Nobel Prize of Blogs?

And, because I do have masochistic tendencies, not only did I read spam but I actually replied to all of them. Here are some of the spam emails I replied to. (I won't bother putting "sic" anymore.)

Spam #1: This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of £1,000,000 (British Pounds) held on the 13th of July 2009 in London Uk.

My reply: Whatever...


Spam #2: I want you and your organization to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard, My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth.

My reply: Whatever...

Sometimes, I get bored and vary my replies. You know, shake things up a bit.

Spam #3: You have a fabulous website. Want to make it even grater? Contact us how we can improv your site.

My reply: Whatevs...

However, after replying to all of them, be prepared to receive a few of these spammers to respond. I think these people are clueless as hell as to the context of my using the word "whatever." Some of the replies I got were:

• Thank you for your quick response!
• The Lord bless you and your family for the help that you'll be extending.
  
• Thank you for your interest in my offer.
• Shalom!
  

Now why would reading and replying to spam cure reader's block, you ask? Because after reading 20 of them in quick succession, you'd be clamoring to read something that makes sense. Besides, even if you don't have reader's block, reading and replying to spam is one very way to kill time.


Sorry, I can't seem to think of a seque for what follows.

I've also received an award this week from a fellow blogger, Tina, at Tutu's Two Cents. Tina has these gorgeous bookshelves at her place, which I'll be posting here soon. And she's also been to Manila! Love her! Thanks again for the award, Tina!

Also, my book giveaway is still open, so email me at peter.sandico@gmail.com for your answer to my question and the book that you want.

You know you're in hell when...

Harry Potter book burning

1. You're stuck in a traffic jam with no book to read.
2. You're almost through reading a used book and then find out that the last few pages are missing.
3. You're trapped in a library and it's absolutely pitch dark. Or, you're trapped in a library and you forget your reading glasses.
4. The only bookstore in town closes shop and is replaced by The Gap.
5. Ann Coulter starts a book club.
6. People burn books during happy hour.
   
7. Your favorite author is hanging out with Paris Hilton.
8. Your favorite author is Paris Hilton.
9. All your books now start with this sentence: "It was a dark and stormy night."
10. Your books can suddenly talk and they hate you.

How about you, dear reader? Are there any similar scenarios that you can think of?

Things I'd like to see more of

Books about zombies, Mr. Darcy, and Elizabeth Bennet -- I haven't read a single Jane Austen novel yet. I can't stand all that gossip. Hopefully, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies will make me eager to read one.

Books about vampires that do not sparkle and actually have fangs -- I'm a big fan of Guillermo Del Toro. Naturally, I just have to get The Strain, the first in his horror trilogy about vampires in Manhattan.

Books about history that aren't boring -- I'm a big fan of books about World War II. Nicholson Baker's Human Smoke, which is mostly made up of anecdotes, provides a fresh angle on that turbulent age.

Books that explore issues relevant to people today -- Francesca Lia Block's Baby Be-Bop is one young adult novel that every teenager should read. The writing is fresh and urgent, and the controversial theme is unapologetic.

What I can do without

People who go out of their way to ban books -- A Christian group has sued for the right to burn Block's Baby Be-Bop in public. Check it here. Effing unbelievable in this day and age!

Stop the paranoia

I've had enough hearing about A(H1N1). Stop sending those unsubstantiated text messages and chain emails. Maybe we can all just go on with our lives and, like, read.

At least it's hygienic

Koji Suzuki, the man behind The Ring, Spiral, and Dark Water, has a new horror novel. But this time, it's printed on toilet paper. My only question is: Will the books come out in 1- or 2-ply as well?

I am loving the concept already. Who would've thunk this one but the Japanese! If you plan to resell this book, then better come up with a new sales pitch other than "Used Toilet Paper For Sale."

On another sheet...

Ever wonder why the sheets of toilet paper don't stick? They roll out effortlessly from the tube, right? It's all due to a mathematical concept called Penrose tiling.

Look closely at a roll of Kleenex and you'll notice patterns on the surface of the sheets -- the Penrose tiles. These are actually unrepeating patterns, which prevent bunching when paper is rolled.

And because the Penrose tiles are unique, there's no possibility of the patterns of one sheet locking into place with the patterns of the sheet under it. Brilliant, right?

Literary deal breakers

Does the saying "opposites attract" hold true to every situation? If you're a book lover, wouldn't you rather go out with someone who's also into books? Wouldn't it also help to be seeing someone who's tastes in books are somewhat similar to yours?

I can't imagine spending time with someone whom all I can talk about is the weather, algae, jpeg vs. gif, or Britney Spears. I'd probably kill myself if I can't talk about books with my S.O. Having said that, I do consider it important that we somehow like the same books. Or, more importantly, that we get one another interested in our preferred reading matter.

I've been romantically involved three times, with the first two ending in very unfortunate scenarios. (The one I'm in now, I believe, is for keeps. We met at a bookstore. And the first time we met, future S.O, was holding a Murakami! I was totally into Murakami 5 years ago.) Looking back, I now know why there was never a chance of those two relationships succeeding, and I feel that it has something to do with reading tastes (or lack thereof).

We've all heard about deal breakers. They're omens of some sort, whether the date is headed into something potentially serious or if you're better off with a dog. For book lovers like us, deal breakers can come in two ways -- either the potential S.O. isn't into books at all or he/she is so into a specific type of genre that we wouldn't even bother reading.

In my first relationship, I was with someone who was not into reading at all, and I mean reading in all forms. That was doomed from the start, although why we lasted for 2 years I'll never know. The second one was into books, the religious kind. I've nothing against those; I've actually read quite a few. The deal breaker for me happened during my birthday when I received 5 books about the Virgin Mary and when this person said, "You should try these, and not the trashy ones you're always reading." What. A Load. Of S--t. We lasted for 2 years, too.

If I were single, I would definitely be on the lookout for these literary deal breakers every time I go out on a date. Here are some of the books that would send me fleeing to the next parallel universe:

1. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
2. The Alchemist (or all the books by Coehlo for that matter)
3. Any book with a cover depicting Fabio ravaging a woman
4. Finnegan's Wake
5. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
6. High School Musical novelizations

How about you, dear reader? What would be your literary deal breakers? I really want to know. Write them in the comments section.

The dame still matters

Lady, you'll need a larger tote bag for that.

Agatha Christie sets another record! She's now the author of the book with the largest spine ever -- over a foot long.

And in Iran, they arrest a woman whom they believe to be their first female serial killer. The woman confessed that she somehow patterned her killings from Christie's whodunits.

And also...

I went to three bookstores today and noticed that they have new stocks but with much higher prices. Could this be the result of the tax imposed on imported books?

A rivalry to watch out for

A blogger's take on this effingly brilliant concept

Forget vampires vs. werewolves, Godzilla vs. Mothra, Montagues vs. Capulets, and men from Mars vs. women from Venus. Team Edward vs. Team Jacob? Please, that's no contest. I'll happily spoil it for you -- Bella marries Edward, boinks him, and begets a vampire-human mongrel.

All these classic and treasured rivalries don't stand up to the one featured in my most anticipated movie of all time: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. I just can't wait to experience all the layers of human and animal drama, existential angst, and profound character development when I finally see MS v. GO on DVD. And it stars Debbie Gibson, the 80s singer of "Electric Youth" fame. Check out the trailer here.

A mega shark, a giant octopus, and Debbie Gibson walk into a bar.

What is this -- a joke?

Would you like chili sauce with that?

I love sharks and octopi (octopuses?). I've eaten both. In the Philippines, squid balls and fish balls are popular street foods. No, we don't eat squid and fish testicles, although that's a wonderful thought. These balls are actually made of fish and squid meat rolled into bite-sized pieces.

Fish balls are actually made of shark meat, which gives a stronger fishy flavor. I'm not sure whether they use octopus instead of squid to make squid balls though. Nevertheless, octopus does taste like squid, and I bet people wouldn't throw away the occasional stray octopus if it could be used to make squid balls.

My top Mother's Day gifts

It's the time of year again when my siblings and I bicker discuss amongst ourselves what gift should we give our mother for this special occasion. Mother's Day is quite stressful for me because of this. We make it a point to actually give something useful every year. No flowers, chocolates, figurines for us.

Funny how our mom tells us, "Oh, don't bother yourselves with buying me a gift." One time, we really didn't get her anything for Mother's Day. She gave us the silent treatment for 3 days. So today I googled like mad for the best gifts I could possibly give her. I came up with this list.

Things my mother would appreciate (I think)

An armadillo handbag - My mother always carries a huge handbag. Sometimes, it feels that it's actually the handbag that carries her. I think this handbag makes the perfect fashion statement. My mom can definitely pull off using roadkill for an accessory.
A horse wine bottle holder - We don't really drink wine that much, except during New Year's when we drink all the reds and whites we received during the holidays. I'm sure my mom would use this to hold the bottle of toyo (soy sauce), patis (fish sauce), or suka (vinegar).


Slippers with Star Wars characters - A huge fan of Star Wars, my mother is. I can just picture her wearing the pair with Darth Vader heads and speaking to me in a throaty, wheezy voice: Peter, I am your motherrrr.... I wonder, would she cut off my hand too?

A nose soap dispenser - I am loving this! My mom always complains that I don't drain the water from the soap dish, causing the soap to turn all mushy. Hopefully, this anatomically exaggerated soap dispenser with its realistically colored liquid hand soap would put a stop on all that.

An empty jewelry box - I can't wait to see her reaction BEFORE and AFTER she opens this one. I must have the camera ready. These are the moments I practically live for. Empty jewelry box: $1. The look on my mother's face: priceless.