Wednesday, July 24, 2013

10 reasons I read them Russians

  1. The weight of these novels exercise my flabby arms. 
  2. Because I just can't be happy all the time. Happiness is boring. I need suicide, poverty, desperation, frustration, and hopelessness.
  3. Because no one has awkward sex in Russian novels. Actually, no one has sex. Period.
  4. Like these Russian writers, sometimes I have way, way, way, way, way too much time on my hands. 500 pages? That's just a novella.
  5. I like them big and fat. Just like cheeseburgers.
  6. My tongue could also use some exercise by saying those polysyllabic names. Rodion Romanovitch Raskolnikov! 
  7. I am undaunted by the constant switching of names and nicknames. Katerina is Katya is Kitty is Kitsy Bitsy or whatever.
  8. I am still unclear why all descriptions of handsome Russian men involve beards and reddish cheeks.
  9. The cold! The snow! Siberia! Frostbite! They must be farting snowflakes.
  10. The letters Z and V don't appear enough in American novels. And vodka. And gambling.

9 comments:

Louize Gonzales said...

LOL!
On #4, this books shouldn't be measured by pages, it should be by lbs. ♥

Peter S. said...

I agree 100%!

mel u said...

Plus keeping 300 characters in mind is good mental exercise.

Peter S. said...

True that!

Jaime Huff said...

LOL! Can I get a heeellll yeah? OMG! #7- all the names. All the names....

I do love a good Russian read!

James Chester said...

You forgot to mention how funny they are. There are some very funny scenes in Crime and Punishment and I thought Dead Souls was hysterical, at least the first half was.

Gina Gao said...

These are such good reasons! I too like to read Russian novels.

www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

Jeane said...

Ha ha. A lot of those are reasons why I stay away from them!

Peter S. said...

Hello, Jaime! The names sometimes give me a headache!

Hi, James! Oh, yes! I can't help but snigger.

Hello, Gina! Spread the love!

Hello, Jeane! But they're very enjoyable!